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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116582">It is Glory It is Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ptolemais/pseuds/ptolemais'>ptolemais</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>American Revolution RPF, Historical Lams - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Historical Lams, Historically Accurate, Hurt/Comfort, John Laurens/ Alexander Hamilton - Freeform, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, War, as can be of course, eventually, kidder, meade - Freeform, tilgman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:36:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,314</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ptolemais/pseuds/ptolemais</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 1</strong>
</p><p>I pull my dirty blonde hair back with a blue ribbon as I walk through the alleyways of Valley Forge. My eyes get drawn to the conditions and the poor quality of health here as I nod to fellow soldiers passing them. The sun is high in the sky, the air chilled around me, my breath is seen in front of me as I pull by black overcoat closer, keeping in the warmth. I can see soldiers who are malnourished, injured, and some who do not have proper clothing, those who have weapons clutch it to their bodies as if it could get stolen. Everything is filthy from the soldiers, to the tents, to the supplies provided from congress, this is the army I signed my life for.</p><p>Turning a corner I see a man who is giving his food to a fellow soldier, he has the green sash of an aide de camp. He must be of nobility with his powdered hair and his clean and crisp army uniform; tan trousers, white stockings, black leather shoes, white waist coat, white linen shirt, and a blue navy overcoat with a sword at his side. The smile he gives the small shaking soldier, only a boy, restores my faith again in this cruel constrictive world.</p><p>" Excuse me, sir ," I say tapping on his shoulder, " Do you know where the general might be?"</p><p>He turns to me his face riddled in confusion and I understand why.</p><p>" Monsieur, ou est le Generale?" He points to the house in the distance.</p><p>" Je suis, Marquis de Lafayette," He says bowing.</p><p>" Je suis, John Laurens," I bow as he takes my arm walking. The Marquis is around my age, perhaps a few years younger, his features soft like a young boys, he has not seen the carnage of this war first hand, neither have I. We get to the end of the encampment where I see the house clearer, wooded, tall, secretive, holding things that could change the war. </p><p>" Why do you need to speak with the General?" Lafayette asks as we enter the house, greeting the guards as we head up the stairs.</p><p>" Something of my father's doing," I say as my hands start to shake, he takes notice.</p><p>Pulling my against a wall near the door of the general's office I can hear muffled talking as he places a hand on my shoulder.</p><p>" At ease mon ami, the General is like a father. There is no one I met who is more of a gentleman, there is nothing you shall worry of," Lafayette gives me a gentle smile his brown eyes sparkling.</p><p>" We shall leave this place lest people shall get suspicious," He places his hat on as I return the smile walking in the office.</p><p>" General, I am sorry to interrupt but there is someone who needs to speak with you on the behalf of his father,"  I stand at the edge of the table and bow.</p><p>" Sir, my name is John Laurens," General Washington leans back on his chair and looks at the aide de camp next to him.</p><p>" It is a pleasure to meet you, for reference this is a fellow aide de camp, lieutenant colonel Alexander Hamilton," He gestures to the ginger next to him that has freckles on his face like a child's, his frame petite.</p><p>" I honor your visit, Mr. Laurens, but rest your feet it seems we have much to discuss," Hamilton sits alongside me with Lafayette on the other.</p><p>" Have you a clue of what your father said?" The General says, his blue eyes ringing in curiosity.</p><p>" Nothing past that I shall finish schooling in Britain for law then I may return to help the army in my service towards it," The Marquis face is pure confusion while Hamilton leans over to the General whispering something in his ear holding a letter of parchment with a red wax seal.</p><p>" Laurens, did your father inform you of the letter he sent to us adressing the status of your persons in the army as well of conditions on how you shall be treated?" The small ginger asks passing the letter my way.</p><p>" I only know of what I just told you, nothing else," I say as Lafayette starts talking.</p><p>" The Mr. Henry Laurens had his personal servant hand deliver it here. You must know some of his doings," I do not have an answer so I start reading the paper.</p><p>
  <em>Dear General Washington,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It has come to my attention that my son has the yearning for glory and honor for his name that is only soothed by the noble art of war. If he is to put himself in these conditions he shall be ranked high so the traditions of high class he had as a child will not be deprived. I will only allow him to participate in this slaughter if he has respect and a well life as a soldier.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sincerely,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Henry Laurens</em>
</p><p>" I will do as your father wants as he is an influential part in Congress. We need you as a soldier so effective immediately I make you a member of this family as an aide de camp," General Washington says walking over to a cupboard.</p><p>" General there are protocals and we cannot break them-" The General placed a hand in front of his face. I look at Alexander as he sit with his arms crossed, face like stone.</p><p>" Sir," I say looking up at him, " It would be wrong of me to take a position from a well earned person just because of my father's position in society," </p><p>" What are you suggesting then, mon ami?" Lafayette says right above my head with a smile.</p><p>" Until I am able to prove myself then the position will be posponed towards me," I can see Lafayette laugh ( no pun intended ) and Alexander smile warmly as I bow leaving the room.</p><p> </p><p>[ Sorry it's not prominently Historical Lams but I wanted to set up their relationship as friends first then go from there. This is my first fanfiction so if you can put kudos and comment that would be great. I'll see you all soon.]</p><p>   </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 2</strong>
</p><p>Alexander Hamilton</p><p>The General paces around the room as Lafayette and I sit at the table. A servant moves the plates out of the room as I stand up walking to General Washington.</p><p>" What are your opinions on the matter?" The General says to the both of us.</p><p>" Henry Laurens is a great matter in our cause, if we do not listen to him and comply with his wishes then we could be doomed," Lafayette says looking up at the general. </p><p>" It is but his decision as an American to choose, he is not a child. If we were to disregard his opinion then what is the point of this war but to be controlled again?" I rest my arm upon a bookshelf, one of the few pieces of furniture besides the table and a desk in the corner.</p><p>" Sir, do you not think this is a petite bit risky? The Mr. Henry Laurens is our closest ally for the South," Lafayette says, his voice sounds of pleading but I know how he feels of him, we need this ally no matter what but the choice of John is not one to be bent. I let my frustration simmer close to me, I need to win this battle. </p><p>" The Marquis is right. He shall be given the ranking on behalf of his father's request. If he shall like the position I will not know, but this is the country at stake."</p><p>" General, sir, he is not a child, if we disregard him like he is then this country shall not stand," My arms flail around like a feral animal, I always try to keep it from surfacing, "It is unique that you find a man like him, a free white man at that, if we do not give him that choice imagine what will happen, mark my words, this army shall fall," I can hear my voice rise but I have seen freedom stripped away from those less fortunate, I will not be the cause of it. My impulses take hold of me as I slam the door, walking down the creaky steps and enter the kitchen where Meade sits reading a book and eating lunch.</p><p>" Meade, did a young man that has dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and wears a black overcoat come in?" </p><p>He looks up with intrigue, thinking for a moment before speaking.</p><p>" Ah, yes, very respectable, he told me if anyone were to ask to tell him he went on a walk to clear his head," I nod before heading out, thanking him.</p><p>The cool air slithers its way around me in an attempt to make me retreat. I cannot. My legs begin to take me to the heart of Valley Forge, with all the tents, whether for sleeping, seeking medical attention, or for food. I realize this would not be the place to take a hearty breath and think, it is too smokey and loud for anyone to be decisive forget when you are deciding your life. Running again, I knock into people and things as I try to get out of this place.</p><p>My eyes stray to the woods surrounding camp, their serenity and quiet state provides the perfect place to engage in thinking, where I go most times. I walk through the trees, their luscious green leaves and perfectly brown bark marred by dew, brought on by last nights rain, reminding me back to Nevis. There is tracks of black leather shoes as I near the river, the land more fertile. sunlight peaks its way through the height of this ancient nature. It is when I pass the river that I see Laurens, his back towards me.</p><p>He wears his dark blonde hair in a low braid, put together with a silk-like blue ribbon, the color of the Continental Army. The overcoat he wore in front of the General is stripped off on a tree, replaced by an equally black waistcoat. The rest of his ensemble is like mine: tan breeches to the knee, white stockings, and black leather shoes. If it was not for this uneasy weather of this month I would have presumed someone had fallen, it could have a deeper meaning for the color choices. It would be in my unstable mind I would suggest that he is like the death that would possess us all if we do not win, the death to our freedom.</p><p>Our differences are stark: blonde hair compared to red, freckles to none, small to tall, malnourished he has not been. Based on his speech regarding his worthiness his morals are all the same but it could be a mask.</p><p>I pull my fiery red hair back, this could end up in flames and malice if I am not careful.</p><p>" John?" He turns around, blue eyes fully opened, cheeks flushed, almost tripping over a log to greet me. I beg to differ he seems like Lafayette when he was invited to dance with Marie Antoinette. Morally sound is all I am looking for in a confident. [ <strong>Little does he know he will find more than friendship. There is no way you shall convince me otherwise.]</strong></p><p>" Is there something of interest that brings you here?" He says pulling on his overcoat in an attempt to portray himself as a gentleman though I saw his former state.</p><p>" Yes, but there is no need for the extra belongings, it is temped enough in this paradise," My coat lays with his on a branch as I bring him to the banks of the river, I can feel the grass between my fingers. Laurens' eyes stray from the river looking into mine, his a shade lighter than my violet one but with the same intensity. </p><p>" I would be delighted for you to explain the decision made on the position you took for the army. For if it were any other person they will choose to do it whether they have the experience to do it, but peculiarly not you. Do tell," I position my arms behind me crossing my legs so my stomach is the only thing from my person and the ground.</p><p>A leg of his is pulled near his chest one lays flat on the riverbed, perhaps it is a self comforting motion.</p><p>" I do not want the the position for the forthright reason of my lack of experience, and my father's use of his status in this endeavor to bend the wills of generals. He proclaims that it is for my safety, glory, and lack luster honor that I have. This fate compels me reliant of thousands of soldiers that have families while I have none of my own. If I make a wrong move it will cost a husband, uncle, son, and much more. It would be different if this was my life to give away but it is not, I have never served, I be the cause of the fall to this army,"  Laurens' eyes are ablaze, his face contorted, much like me when I took the office as Captain of Artillery in New York, how our lives converge ever so much.</p><p>" My friend, I understand your worry, it has been something that has haunted me since I took on the office of a soldier. I will not change your mind because it is one that cannot be bent but I speak from confrontation I have, this will not be the great General Washington but from my heart," I say smiling pitifully, "As a soldier, your life will change forever, there will be no way back from it. Once you are a soldier even as you sleep your mind will be corrupted by the battlefield, both mind and body will be disabled from the distaste for your lack of emotion towards the enemy, your blood tainted hands. It will change you, leave fears never knowing you had, mental scars to plague your being for the rest of your existence,"  </p><p>" My mind will not bend to that of another persons, I am not a child, I needn't coddling, especially from a person who I just now shall consider my friend," He says standing up, his emotions fluxuation like the rise and fall of the sea.</p><p>" Come to me after a battle, <em>tell</em> me how you feel being responsible for the death of dozens of redcoats, your own countrymen!" I yell at him slowly walking closer, tears prick in the back of my eyes. I continue my speech with a shaky voice.</p><p>" Tell me you will not be paralized to hold any weapon without the sick feeling that travels in your stomach. Say to me that you are not afraid at any moment your life will be ended, you will be forgotten, lost to history, your death just a dot of ink in a whole book of stories!" John turns around with hatred burning in his eye, not directed at me, as I look at him a few inches away biting my lip to keep the salty tears from coming through. <em>Pathetic. Sodomite. Clinging to a person who knows only your name.</em></p><p>My head turns down, looking at my feet as my hands clench. I bite on my lip hard to stop the sobs from my body but even as I place a hand against my mouth I can feel tears slid down my cheeks rendering my attempts to calm myself immobile. My other arm is wrapped around my small waist bringing my past back for me to see. My father leaving as he tells me it was his mother who did it, my mother dying as I hold her arm weeping, my brother being pulled under from the hurricane, then finally my cousin in the kitchen five feet in the air chocked. The tears block my view from the ground, Laurens should be the one emotional, distraught, not me. <em>Pathetic. </em>It is all I can hear, it rings in my ears.</p><p>I can feel arms wrap around me, his embrace close and warm. My hands claw at his waist coat, desperately trying to get closer, to not feel like a weeping widow. Tears wet his waistcoat as I place my head against his chest, he lets me. I start to make these pitiful chocking sobs. Then I feel hit chin on the top of us, entwined with each other.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 3</strong>
</p><p>John Laurens</p><p>I open the flap to my tent as Alexander leaves me to work on secretive things my mind could not think of at the moment. The raw emotions I felt for the lieutenant are more fierce than for anyone in my life, more confusing to sift through than packets of test papers. My weapons and other things that were cross my chest are placed in a pile near the end of my cot as I change into my nightclothes unraveling my hair from its braid, soft curls bounce at the nape of my neck. I light a candle sitting at my bed while I read the pamphlet <em>Common Sense</em> by <em>Thomas Paine </em>skimming the pages swift and with ease. It is when the candle is half burnt that I realize how late it is, past the set of the sun positively.</p><p>Blowing out the candle I lightly toss the booklet on the bedside table before relishing in the warmth provided by the blankets, what could be afforded by congress anyway. I could be lying on the ground with out the luxury of a tent and blanket as some are, it could be worse. </p><p>                                                                                                     ***************************************************</p><p>The heat pillages my body of everything it has, cool air, strength, and persistance to to keep on in the hot weather as it turns like the tides of the sea. </p><p>                                                                                                    ****************************************************</p><p> We march in a straggle towards Brandywine, the heat easing lightly as wind blows in our faces. I was ahead of the group but then I notice men start to drop, we need as many soldiers we can have but the heat overcomes them. I sprint towards a kid who looks only the age of twelve as he starts to sway, when he falls I pick him scooping him in my arms, I carry him as if he we a newborn babe but one that is years older. He has sky blue eyes and light brown skin and curly brown hair that goes to his shoulder, his uniform is filthy and his lips are chapped and bleeding. Plucking the canteen from my side I place it against his mouth holding him with the other.</p><p>" How did they let you join? You are but a child," I say letting him down as he tells me so. </p><p>" They needed everyone that was willing to fight. I was willing to risk my life if it meant freedom for my family and future generations. I may look young but I am a ripe fifteen," We continue walking until we reach my former spot. </p><p>" Who are you?' I ask as he stutters before stamering, " Phillip Smith," He says not quite looking me in the eye.</p><p>" He died years ago if I am talking about the correct," I say as I look to his face, his emotions on his face tell it all but I keep quiet, wanting him to tell me before I lead myself to any conclusions.</p><p>" Can you keep a secret?" Phillip ask as if it is nothing. He and I both know this is not nothing he just wants to confuse other soldiers if they are listening i.</p><p>" Yes, but be honest," I say as he motions for me to bring him my ear, his is only half a foot shorter.</p><p>" I am a slave and I stole the name of my slave owner's son who died only a few years before," He whispers as I straighten to my full height.</p><p>" Shi-" he stops me then looks up into my eyes, similar to his pleading.</p><p>" Here, take one," I say placing a carrot piece in his palm.</p><p>" As long as I fight for American your secret shall be safe with me," I say popping it into my mouth.</p><p>" Thank you, but what do I have this for then?" </p><p>" My father didn't really approve of me joining the army," I simply whisper to him as he gives me a confused look.</p><p>" Now eat the carrot piece so I know that you will keep it safe," I say as he eats it, " As long as we are both alive out secrets stay safe with each other alright?" </p><p>He nods as I say, " Now go back with your fellow soldiers so it will not seem I am giving you special attention, alright?" </p><p>" Okay, sir," he says joining a soldier behind him. We are close to the battle field when I feel someone's eyes staring at me.</p><p>I turn my head and Lafayette's staring at me on his snow colored horse, his lips curl into a smile. </p><p>" It seems that we both believe in the same thing, mon ami," He says pulling his horse to a slow trot so I can talk to him while walking. </p><p>" What do you mean?" I ask, coming closer to him as I feel a sense of secrecy.</p><p>" Well, I helped the young boy days ago but he wouldn't tell me what was bothering him but I had a hunch what he was," He says, " It is good you helped him out," </p><p>" Lets talk about this later for we shan't discuss this around thousands of soldiers," I say, as General Washington stops in front of us.</p><p>" Get in formation, men, if you die today you will die of honor," He says, as we all stand in a line whether it be guns or swords by our side. I can see the redcoats, they stand in strict and uniform lines, one they would use on flat terrain. This soil with be painted red. </p><p>The first exchange of guns were fired and it was a long hard fought out battle. We were getting gunned down and at one point I could see our own soldiers shooting on one another by mistake. I feel numb as I fight, seeing the redcoats fall because of the woulds I inflicted on them, their blood tainting the soil. At some points I even wanted to feel pain as I let them use their bayonett tip on my arms or legs scratching me as I gutted them with my sword. I feel nothing.</p><p>A lot of redcoats are hiding in a house fortified and obsene by other soldiers but I know if I down them it will be a great loss to the British. I take a match from my bag along across my shoulder and try to start a fire against the rock but gunfire swarms around my as I narrowly miss it. I turn and a figure stands over me he has a sword in hand as I grab my weapon with speed and get up. </p><p>A boy only nineteen at the oldest charges towards me with a sword and starts striking me. I try twirling and hitting his heart, aiming for a swift death but he dodges it kicking my legs from under me instead. My mind is muddled as he kicks me again and I get up using the house, holding onto my side as I cough up blood from the blow that got delt my way. He throws four knives my way and they hit their targets, both of my arms and legs, rendering me useless in this fight. </p><p>The bloodred sword he holds in his hand glints in the sun, so does his evil dastardly smile, he is truly heartless. He gives a smirk 'till his face is inches away from mine and I let my chin rise as not to meet his green eyes and blond hair that looks so similar to my little brothers. </p><p>" Why shall we leave you a dead soldier when we could leave you a beautiful character with a necklace," He whispers as I can feel the cool iron tip shallowly run a line across the front of my throat like someone cut me with a wire. He holds my head up as I can feel myself whimper, " and why not paint you with red paint like Di Vinci did to his paintings?" I can feel the dagger as he pushes it into me as I bite down a scream. The boy takes all the daggers out supporting me up and I fall to the grass clutching both my neck and stomach. He stands back and watches me as I attempt to pull out the dagger, he goes off to fight someone else as if I was just a toy for him to play with. The hilt of the swords becomes slick with sweat as I take it out, still laying down, and look like another dead corpse. </p><p>I want to die here, to not feel the pain anymore, to end it all but then I remember all the things that will become of this nation without me. The boy comes back to finish the job as he sees me attempt to get up. He runs towards me with a sword in hand and is about to stab me in the back when I shove the same blade in his chest. I watches as me falls, convulsing but then lays motionless, I just killed a boy with so much life ahead of him, nobody I have downed has effected me so.</p><p>My hand stays close to my stomach, dark red blood drenches it. I can feel the heat soak through my shirt going to my coat as I feel the world sway. I see Lafayette as the troops start retreating on his horse Jean-Blanc.</p><p>" Lafayette," I call out hoarsly as he turns around and sprints towards me. He catches my frame and places me against the soil with tears streaming down his face encased by the sunset.</p><p>" It will be alright mon ami, I promise, you will be alright," Gil picks my up like I am the weight of a feather and screams for the medic. I look at the sun one more time before the sky fades out of view, all I see is black.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>[Sorry these chapters are so short but I will try to make them longer in the future. BTW, he's in Washington's house with the other aide de camps, it now October 4 in the founding america of 1777. Oh, by the way John Laurens doesn't die he's just really hurt so keep reading to find out more. Thank you:) ]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 4</strong>
</p><p>Marquis de Lafayette</p><p>I pull back my hat and craddle it in my arms as I walk back and forth in the dining room. A few of the aide de camps are there, Kidder, Tilghman, Harrison eating breakfast while the others are god knows where. The air is cold as it is early and it smells of burning wood, my body is unable to be at ease, my mind weary.</p><p>" Lest your plan is to bring us to the depts of the earth you shall sit down," Harrison says, with a mouth full of food and points to the chair opposite of him.</p><p>" Perhaps it is you who shall stand up. A little exerecise would not hurt a soul," I say stopping to look at him, he turns away from me embarrassed as Tilghman smiles, though never joining on the conversation, focusing on his food. Kidder takes a cup of hot chocolate meant for Alexander and turns, handing it to me.</p><p>" Merci, mon ami," I say, trying to stop the tapping of my feet as the door creaks open. We all turn to attention as the doctor walks towards me.</p><p>I bow and he waves his hand to say no as I rise, his height to mine.</p><p>" How will he be?" I ask.</p><p>" The patient will be alright. There is bruises on both his sides and his chest and minor cuts here and there. It was lucky his neck didn't get cut further which shall heal in the matter of a few days his stomach was a different story. I had to stitch it back together and he lost a lot of blood but it shall be healed in a few weeks time, though he shall endure soreness for a month at the very least," I smile pitifully, then thank him as he leaves. The stairs are creaky as I walk up them reaching the garret and open the door. </p><p>John is propped up, his skin almost as light as the pillows, that dark blond hair of his is pleated into a braid. I come to think he is asleep as I sit down on the chair next to him as his bright blue eyes open, giving me a lazy smile sitting up even more. My eyes go to his neck as I ask, " How are you?" </p><p>" Better, soothing my wounds will make time constrict me so," He says, then coughs, leaving him with his eyes losing focus.</p><p>" My friend, I think I shall let you sleep," I say getting up before he grasps my wrist.</p><p>" Tell me when the General has arrived," He rasps letting go as his eyes start to close. I turn to his bookcase and lay one on his bed before heading to the door.</p><p>" Will do," I say, leaving the door closed as I smile to myself, thinking to the mug of hot chocolate I left behind.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>[Sorry this is short but I will make the next chapter longer, I promise.]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[ I am grateful for all the hits that this story has gained and I really thank you all so much. I am loyal to this story and will reach the 50th chapter in a few months:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 5</strong>
</p><p>Alexander Hamilton</p><p>I mount off my horse and look to see McHenry unloading supplies as well giving the satchel of letters to me as I look upon the house, it has been too long. The door opens to Lafayette and the other fellow aide de camps behind him. My body feels crushed as I am pulled into a hug by the <em>grande teddy bear, </em>if Lafayette is able to call me <em>petite lion</em> that' what I will call him. I head in and start to walk up the stairs when I realize I still have to give the correspondence letters to the General Washington, they are still with McHenry.</p><p>I turn around and he looks at me, " Go, you dear friend needs you. I can deliver these," Nodding I walk up the creaky stairs and notice the smells of alcohol and lavender, a strange smell at that but comforting to know John has been cared for. As I reach the top step there is a hand against my shoulder, squeezing it letting me turn around.</p><p>" What is it, <em>Grande Teddy Bear?</em> Is it too much to see a close friend in times of need?" Lafayette's ears burn red as he facepalms and looks at me as if I am stupid.</p><p>" I want to tell you that John might be asleep so if you cannot see him awake today do not fret," He says, adjusting his wig atop his head, in which his triangular hat goes tilting to the side.</p><p>" Thank you so much for the information but I know what to expect, he shan't be walking straight in a day," I say, pulling my red hair back in a low braid.</p><p>" I worry about you is all, I do not want you disappointed," He whispers, hugging me tightly and I hold hold back. It is nice to feel noticed, other than for your skill, for just being human. Lafayette is truly the best out of all of us, and mostly likely the kindest and purest.</p><p>" You needn't worry about me. If you will let me there is someone I would like to see," I say, holding onto the door as he smiles leaving down those rickety steps.</p><p>When I open the door my breath is away from me as I look at the state of his room, it is as if the redcoats raided it. Clothes and pieces of paper litter the floor, the window is completely open letting the chilling wind enter of the setting sun. His desk has ink spilled upon it and the gilded blue feathered quill god knows where, the drawers are empty and open, everything a chaotic mess. The only thing that is of normalcy is the bed with it's white sheets and blankets from he person that resides there. </p><p>John. </p><p>I want to talk to him and check on his wounds, hearing on how severe they are, most did not think he was going to live through the night but he did, he is a miracle. John's dark hair is pulled behind his ear, leaving his pale face framed by the pillow. Lack of sleep it seems has gotten to him as I can see his closed blue eyes knocked off of balance with his long dark blond lashes by deep circles. I can see the light stubble starting to form, his breath hits my face lightly, it knocks me off balance, if I can feel his breath and see his stubble then I'm too close, too close for a friend endeavor.</p><p>The air chills me as I close the window, still in my army uniform, and take it off as I start to clean his room. John never leaves it like this. I place all of the papers on the desk and gingerly fold all of his clothes and put them back in their place, closing all the drawers and cupboards. The bookcase full as I find a handmade book filled with parchment paper, they all are homemade and sweet, like lullabies and songs for times of distress. It brings a tear to my eye, particularly one that sings of a mother and her child being separated by sickness but united by death, my eyes sting of how much it sounds of my mother, it hurts. </p><p>Guilt erupts in me as I place it back on the bookshelf, the book is most likely from John's mother, something only they share, it is not mine to know, it is only for them. I walk over to his desk and start to write, correspondence to the government, and look as the sun begins to set. It is well into the night when I hear shifting against the bed. Turning, his blue eyes hit mine as he tries to get up but fails when his stomach dumbfounds him as he lets out a groan in pain. </p><p>" Alexander? tell me this isn't a dream," </p><p>" I wish it was, to take this pain from you, but it isn't," I say, laying him down, holding him close to my side.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[ Thank you for all the support for this story and I will stick to it as I as well as you all need the story, I'm too invested in the plot but my writing isn't up to par. If you can all leave a comment to let me know how many are reading and any subplot suggestions like dancing or stargazing would be appreciated. I will see you all again soon so stick around:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 6</strong>
</p><p>John Laurens</p><p>My head is leaned against the headboard with one eye open looking at Hamilton as I keep a hand placed against my stomach, it hurts so badly that I'm awake. It seems to be the middle of the night as the windows are closed and there is a candle on the nightstand. Hamilton looks from his book then to my wounds, his brows knitted in concern, how I with to take it away. I move to the side of the bed and puke into the pan, laying down on my belly as I feel a hand against my back, I only wear my breeches and stockings. He rubs gentle circles on my back as I finish and crawl back under the covers.</p><p>There is a towel rubbing my face with cold water and wiping the mess away letting me curl into myself for warmth, it is so cold. I can see violet eyes as the check my forehead shaking against his small hand, shivering. My stomach feels as if it is on fire as I hold a hand on it and groan, looking away from Hamilton hoping he will not notice the pain I am in. He does.</p><p>He hands me a small dagger and I instantly drop it afraid of the power it possesses, afraid that I could hurt him. His face contorts as he frowns looking at the iron as he places it under the green sash on his uniform though he is comically missing his blue coat and hat, I could have laughed if I was not hurting so. </p><p>The blanket is peeled off as he places a hand against my side to look at the gash, I can feel my heart hammer and my breath quicken. He then walks to the dresser and finds a bottle of cleansing alcohol and another cloth as he sits on the chair next to my bed.</p><p>" Know this might hurt but when it does hold onto my hand if you like," He uncorks the bottle and spits it out onto the floor brashly. I close my eyes and lock my jaw to prevent from screaming as he slowly pours it in. Flames lick at my stomach as I feel a hand against mine and squeeze it as the alcohol lessens, a yelp resonates from Alexander as I open my eyes, silent tears blinding them as binding goes around my belly. </p><p>Heat surrounds me and though I know he is smaller I feel like a child, crying into his chest as a hand strokes my hair and I feel him say I know to the pain over and over again, he is the only thing that grounds me to reality right now. He wipes tears from my eyes as they come, I know his shirt is soiled but he still holds me close as if he does not care in the least. I feel as if I am in my mother's arms again, protected by warmth, lulled by a gentle voice. In fact, this is the gentlest I have heard him with someone.</p><p>Once my tears slow and there is not a lump in my throat I shakily ask, " Can you sing?" </p><p>He smiles softly and answers, " Yes, what do you want me to sing?" </p><p>I sit up so my head is against his neck, still with an arm around my side.</p><p>His voice is gentle and soothing as he sings.</p><p>
  <em>O can't you see yon little turtle dove</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sitting under the mulberry tree? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>See how that she doth mourn for her true love:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I shall mourn for thee, my dear, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I shall mourn for thee.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>O fare thee well, my little turtle dove, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And fare thee well for a-while; </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But though I go I'll surely come again, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I go ten thousand miles, my dear,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I go ten thousand miles.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ten thousand miles is very far away,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For you to return to me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You leave me here to lament, and well-a-day!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My tears you will not see, my love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My tears you will not see.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The crow that's black, my little turtle dove,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shall change its colour white; </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Before I'm false to the maiden I love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The noon-day shall be night, my dear,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The noon-day shall be night.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The hills shall fly, my little turtle dove, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The roaring billows burn,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Before my heart shall suffer me to fail,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or I a traitor turn, my dear,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or I a traitor turn.</em>
</p><p>There is a glint in his eyes and he looks at me as I yawn with my head now in his lap like a child as he strokes my hair. Something is different between us to but it could just be the chill weather that changes us so. It seems nothing has changed in Alexanders eyes as he takes a few hairs out of my face, cradling my cheek, before sitting in the chair next to the cot.</p><p>" Sleep, dear john, for there are great festivities tomorrow," He say, picking the book back up. I cannot let this moment end with us vulnerable like this, for vulnerability could be the end of us. I wish to see him like this, more caring, more relax, more open to share feelings freely, but this has to end before it begins, it shan't be like Francis.</p><p>" Good dreams, Alexander," I whisper softly, taking his hand.</p><p>" And I you, dear, John," He says, holding it close as we fall asleep.</p><p>I am the turtle dove.</p><p>This will end in flames. </p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[ Sorry it took so long I wanted to wait 'till 100 hits and to be honest have been swamped with school. I plan on progressing Lafayette's chapter longer each time. I wanted a moment with Lafayette and Laurens to be in each others company without Alexander so I can flesh out Lafayette more because I feel without this chapter he is a one-dimensional person without this chapter, so enjoy.] :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 7</strong>
</p><p>Marquis de Lafayette</p><p>I walk with john in the woods, smiling like I became a king of an empire. He has to hold onto the trees as they pass, even with my arm to hold him steady we occasionally stumble forwards and I remember the French queen. My eyes blurr for a moment as we sit on the banks of the river surrounded by the sun. </p><p>" Shan't you sit on your back rather than strain your bruised stomach," I say, sitting on my knees, feeling the lush green grass. The water looks like crystals are there as John places his canteen in it.</p><p>" Do you want some?" He asks, about to place it on his side. I shake my head as he puts it back and I lay on my belly towards the water looking back at him, he sits up against the grass in a tight ball.</p><p>" I feel better to have my legs near my person, it heals me at odds with the regular healing process," He says and I laugh feeling my body rumble seeing him smile. </p><p>" How does it feel to be a lieutenant colonel, Laurens?" I look to the water before sticking a hand in it to let him contemplate. It is a few minutes when I cannot hear an answer and I look back to John who's face it up towards the sky with a distant look plastered against it.</p><p>" John," I say, and he looks surprised as I set my hat on the dirt and lay on it, I shan't move from this spot lest the Redcoats are after us. He takes a bit of my hair and places it behind my ear and I give him a lazy smile, realizing what he is doing.</p><p>" Answer the question dear sir, I know what you are doing," He backs away laying on his back as he starts to talk. </p><p>" I feel the same as I was before being a lieutenant but there is so much I wish to not have seen. Though I have more control and say in the army my weapons are very little use to me because it is like I am afraid of them. Alexander was right, my <em>father </em>was right, I should have followed his rules, to listen to Alexander's advice. I am not the same as I once was," He say, and I can hear he sadness in his voice, it hurts me to see him like this.</p><p>" Me as well," I say, he turns to me as we both lay a base of a tree near the river. His eyes are glassy and I feel this is a moment for Alexander to b hear but I treat this as if he were my younger brother. With whole hearted respect, love and encouragement. </p><p>" How so?" He asks, with his eyes half opened.</p><p>" When I came here as you know I knew barely a few sentences in English without the help of French words and I was hugely trusting to everyone, I was vulnerable. But then as I stayed here I learned to fight, how to tell the difference between enemies and friends, and I actually know English better than some of the people here," I say as he cuffs the back of my head.</p><p>" Just because I am hurt does not mean I cannot hurt people," He say, smirking at me as he holds an arm to his leg. Now he looks more boyish and mischievous then I have seen him, it seems the time in war has made him more trusting towards the people he cares about. I feel touched to be in that circle.</p><p>" I did not do anything," I say, laughing incrediously.</p><p>" This is the only way I can make sure you do not become spoiled and greedy in you position," He says, " Alexander, if I am not mistaken shall be coming quite soon,"</p><p>" Very well, it is not the same with one member missing from our group," I say, as he laughs looking away.</p><p>This shall be fun. </p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[ Sorry it's been so long I just couldn't make a chapter because I've been busy with school and other things. I hope you enjoy.]:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 8</strong>
</p><p>Alexander Hamilton</p><p>I along with both John and Gilbert walk with only the vice of moonlight to guide our way as we go from the house steps through the heart of the camp. I look to both of my friends and see that they are only wearing their most basic clothing without even a waistcoat for warmth while on the other hand I wear the full uniform and am still freezing.</p><p>" How are you not cold, my body is turning to ice and you don't have anything but the most basic clothing," I say and they both laugh as Tilgman stops me for a moment.</p><p>" The reason is you are a small man," I can hear them snickering as my face turns hot entering the woods. That is all they say these days, they like to tease me all the time.</p><p>" So, mes amis, what are we to talk about?" Gilbert says as we set ourselves on the river bank in various positions. The river as I look at it is dark but looks like crystals are imbedded in the water from the reflection of the moon. Laurens and Lafayette are talking with each other while I get water and my fingers are cold, they feel as if they are to snap off as I place them in my navy blue coat but even that does not suffice a bit as my eyes wander to John's form.</p><p>He was vulnerable that day, just after he came out of Germantown, it broke my heart to see him like that and I wanted to keep my distance as much as possible but when he game me that look, with all of his emotions, one that you would give only to someone you trust my barrier was almost completely cracked as I sang. My emotions almost overrode me that day as I was close to at least kissing his nose, to bring happiness back to his crying form, but I knew if we were caught then we would be in big trouble. The one thing that sufficed was holding his hand throughout the night and I have kept myself away from him, in that sense. It has been harder though, as both night and day grow colder, at the end of November, and the fact that since that day I have wanted to hold him close to not be cold in more ways than one but then I remember the Carribean, most were sent because they were sodomites sent to repent. I'm not going back to that place, It will be the last thing in my-</p><p>" Would you like to add something to the conversation?" Gilbert asks, his wig slightly off kiltered.</p><p>" I-I w-what?" I ask stuttering, smooth Hamilton, real smooth .</p><p>" Were you in your own head because you were looking at me for the last ten minutes," Laurens says tilting his head to the side.</p><p>" I-l was just cold and could not contribute to the conversation, I still am," I say gathering my legs to my chest, looking at the both of them with my head on my knees.  </p><p>John hesitates, turning his head to the river before looking back at me.</p><p>" Do you want to lay on my chest to become warm because I know how much everyone loves receiving hugs from me," He says with his face pouring charisma but when I look at those beautiful blue eyes of his they ring fear.</p><p>He lays down on his back with a leg crossed over the other as he glances at me before letting out a shaky breath and I can see his adam's apple bob as I shift against he chest. My nose is covered by my coat sleeve and one of my hands are placed against his heart where I can feel it practically beat out of his chest. Not a moment later I feel his arm wrap around my waist and I feel my face burn as warm breathes cover my hair. I move up so that my head is in the crook between his neck and shoulder and I can see his jaw tighten at the movement. Even though I know that this could have us hanged I would want to know that he feels the same way or at the very least will not kick me onto the streets rejected like how it ended will Robert Troop.</p><p>" Are you still alive Alexander, you have not said a word in a while,"  Gilbert says grinning down at us. I can see very well that they are speaking again but my mind is wandering too much tonight, I cannot focus, something that happens very rarely.</p><p>" If my feet were not freezing so then maybe. My mind is far too carrying for this winter," I say though it sounds more of a mumble against the cloth of Laurens' shirt as I grip it trying to get as much warmth as possible.</p><p>" Let us go back then. It is far to cold and far to late for us to be out here," Gilbert says as I flop like a fish off of John, staggering to the house like drunk people.</p><p>Gilbert is the first to go as he walks down the hall and I lean on Laurens' shoulder as he brings we too a room filled with cots and other sleeping aide de camps. He lays me down on an empty cot and tucks me in as he takes hold of my hand.</p><p>" Goodnight, Alexander," He says turning around to leave, the fire eminating his form as I clutch onto his wrist before he looks back at me surprised. I gently pull him down next to the cot, on his knees, as I shrug off my coat.</p><p>" Goodnight, Jack," I whisper kissing his hand, rubbing a finger against his palm before letting go and turning on my side for sleep.</p><p>Sleep well my turtle dove.</p>
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